Friendship is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. After firstly choosing to walk with him, we’re then called to walk with each other.
From the very beginning, God designed us for relationship. “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). This isn’t just about marriage, but also about community. Being surrounded by Godly, intentional and deep friendships shapes our faith and sustains us through every season of life.
Jesus modelled this for us. He surrounded Himself with friends, the twelve disciples, not only to serve alongside him but also to “be with him” (Mark 3:14). Jesus shared meals with them, prayed with them, taught them, laughed with them and even washed their feet. Through his example, we see that fellowship is essential to the Christian life.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
This verse explains that we are called to ’sharpen’ one another. The metaphor of iron teaches us the purpose of Godly friendships. Iron isn’t sharpened by just brushing against another piece; it requires pressure and friction. That force sharpens the blade and removes dullness.
In the same way, intentional friendships help us grow. People often grow most when someone applies ‘healthy pressure’ – asking the hard questions, encouraging us to step out of our comfort zone, challenging us in love. This isn’t hostility, it’s intentional, loving refinement. Over time, this sharpening helps to remove our own ‘dullness’ – old habits, complacency, unhealthy thought patterns. This kind of Godly friendships helps us grow and provides us with things we desperately need as followers of Jesus – accountability, joy, strength, reliability, wisdom, encouragement…
But Scripture is clear, true fellowship doesn’t happen by accident, it grows through intentionality.
Here’s a few ways we can cultivate Godly friendships in our lives:
- Be intentional about community
Don’t just wait for others to reach out, sometimes we have to take the first step. Join a connect group, get involved in a serving team, invite someone to coffee after church. Community grows when we create space for it and invite it in - Serve one another
Jesus said, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Mark 10:43). Serving each other, through acts of kindness, words of encouragement and practical help, builds trust and love that will deepen friendships. Many of us want to have our ‘village’, but we must first work to be ‘villagers’ – people who serve. - Be transparent and honest
Authentic friendships require vulnerability. When we’re honest about our struggles and invite others into our journey, we give them permission to speak into those areas and struggles. And then we become a safe space for them to do the same. - Pray for and with your friends
Prayer is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. When we intercede for someone, our hearts align with God’s heart for them. Praying together reflects God’s love and invites his blessings into each other’s lives. Let’s be friends who truly pray for one another, especially when we say we will! - Celebrate and encourage
In a world that is often full of competition and comparison, let’s choose to champion others. Rejoice when your friends rejoice. Speak life over their calling. Celebrate their successes and continue encouraging them through their struggles. When we build others up, we reflect Christ’s love to one another.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
In December, a month that often highlights relationships, let’s do our best to reflect the love of Christ to those around us. Who can you encourage this month? Who can you pray for? Who can you practically support?
Amongst the busyness, events, chaos, and gatherings, let’s remember the true gifts of this season – gathering with loved ones, investing in our friendships and celebrating the greatest gift of all, the birth of our Saviour!
Prayer:
God, thank you that we’re not called to walk this life alone. Thank you that you surround us with people who can sharpen us and support us. Thank you for sending your son, Jesus, to show us what true friendships look like.
Thank you for the people you’ve placed in my life to help strengthen my faith and point me back to you.
Help me to be a faithful friend, who listens, encourages, forgives and serves. Teach me to love others with your kind of love – patience, selflessness and full of grace. Open my eyes to those who need companionship, comfort or prayer and use me to reflect your heart in all my relationships.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.